Review: "Next"

Reality television shows have consumed the entertainment business these days. Flip through the channels, and you’ll find personal makeovers, home makeovers, dating shows, wedding shows, baby shows, survival shows, singing shows, talent shows, and so much more. MTV is one of the channels that seems to have nothing but reality shows, and to be honest, the majority of them are horrendous.

In the midst of the crap, one truly horrible show stands out. MTV’s “hit” dating show, “Next,” is a real gem. The scene is set: one gorgeous, single guy (or girl) desperately needs a gorgeous, single girl (or guy!) The producers manage to find five gorgeous singles, all willing to do anything for a date. Sound fake? Don’t worry, both the people and the show itself look as fake as they sound.

The show starts off with the gorgeous single talking about themselves. For example, there was a guy on the show the other day, and he was a businessman. As he introduced himself, he said,“My name is Mark, I’m a businessman, and I’m looking for a hot woman to help take care of MY business!”This voice-over plays as he adjusts his tie, flexes his muscles, and struts his stuff.

This is just the beginning of the corniness that is “Next.”

The women come on after the guy’s introduction. Normally, they wear as little clothing as possible, and flaunt every asset they have. Their voice-overs are just as scripted and corny as the guy’s.

“Hi, I’m Nikki, I’m 21, and I’m a gymnast. I’d like to show this guy how flexible I can be!”

“Hi, I’m Candi, I’m 20, and I’m a lifeguard. I’d like to show this guy my best mouth-to-mouth procedure!”

“Hi, I’m Jenni, I’m 22, and I’m a sales clerk. I want to sell this guy MY goods!”

It gets so much worse. Check back later for the second part of this review!